Mental Health -On The Inside*

One of the frustrating things about dealing with mental illness and anxiety problems is that I believe, for everybody, they are always a little different. We can’t ever really know what is happening in someone’s head, can we? Unless they explicitly tell us what they are thinking, and let us be honest, that rarely ever happens. A good friend of mine passed on the details of a blog that discusses mental health, and this was just one more added to the list that have been passed onto me over the past two, three, even four years. I think that people spotted my mental health problems long before I did. I think, to a certain extent, I still don’t acknowledge them. I put my long-term paranoia down to feeling anxious, or nervous, or my daily social anxiety. Just reading through some of the blogs, however, made me realise that even those who are way more honest than me still don’t share exactly what is going on in their head.

It’s hard to know the extent to which I am mentally ill. Am I a little sad with life, or am I depressed. Do people think they are being clever when actually I can see right through them, or do I have paranoia? Is it normal to be physically incapable of moving towards a room where all your friends and acquaintances are, or are you correct and they would actually rather you weren’t there? These are debates I have in my head every single day. Mental health needs to be talked about otherwise these debates inside our heads will just stay exactly as that, in our heads. Those who do not understand will continue to not understand, while those who do understand will push their diagnoses whether you feel it is correct or not.

*This post has not achieved a single thing. I don’t really know what the point of it was.